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Abilities Magazine
| November 6th, 2003 | |
The ForumThe Philia ProjectWinter 2001. Issue 49: pp. 40-41 Forumby Ted Kuntz The recent events in New York and Washington raise the question of what keeps people safe. The conventional means for ensuring safety is to hire police officers, deploy the army, and use other similar strategies of enforcement. But do these methods actually increase safety and security? The complete destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City is dramatic evidence that armies and technology don�t keep us safe. A few years ago, research was conducted to determine what keeps people with disabilities safe. The results of the research demonstrated that the safety of people with a disability is not dependent upon the number of social workers, law enforcement officers, bylaws, or other methods of enforcement. Rather, their safety was dependent upon the number of relationships the person had. The more relationships, the greater their safety. The fewer relationships, the greater their vulnerability. I believe this principle of safety applies equally to countries and nations as it does to individuals. If so, the United States government will not increase the safety of its citizens by increasing the number of police officers and secret service personnel, exercising greater vigilance at borders and airports, and limiting freedoms. Safety will only come from building relationships with others, especially those whom one perceives as different. Philia is a project initiated by the McConnell Family Foundation to develop ways to encourage and facilitate the care that exists between citizens. The goals of Philia are even more critical now, after the events of September 11. It is the care that exists between citizens -- whether they are neighbours, or global citizens across continents -- that is the true source of safety and security. The means for creating safe and sustainable communities is simple: build relationships. One of the benefits of this strategy is that it doesn�t demand significant financial resources. What is required is our social resources, our resources of caring and compassion, our willingness to understand those who are different, and our willingness to honour the rights, the gifts and the contributions of all individuals in the world. I believe our experiences of living with and supporting individuals who have been labelled as "disabled" will make an important contribution toward creating world peace. Many of us with disabilities, or who have loved ones with a disability, know what it is like to be excluded, to be feared, to be discounted and dishonoured. We also know the blessings that occur when our gifts and contributions are acknowledged and included. We know how relationships with people with a disability can change individuals into gentler, more compassionate human beings and, in the process, change a community. In sharing our skills and knowledge, we can do more than foster inclusion for people who have been labelled as "disabled" -- we can facilitate the very basis for peace on earth. A friend shared a story with me that captures the essence of this message. The story goes like this: "My daughter Anne (age 4) and I were walking in the woods today playing a game. She was pretending that there were monsters in the forest and that they were coming to eat us. We had to be vigilant. We had to defend ourselves. I asked her, �What is the plan? What are we going to do if we see one of the monsters?� She replied, �Feed them.� �Feed them?� I said. �Yes,� she said. �If we feed them they won�t want to eat us.�" I think Anne has the answer to our crisis today. Imagine if George Bush took that $40-billion from Congress and used it to feed people. Heck, take $20-billion to fix up U.S. security and clean up New York, and use the other half to feed people. And feed them not just with food. What if we decided that people�s spirits needed feeding, too? What if we chose to take $1-billion and build the biggest, most beautiful mosque in the world, right in the heart of Kabul? And what if we gave it as a gift, no quid pro quo, as a place for people to feed their spirits? There is no better way to heal the world of its anger and bitterness, jealousy and hate than to feed people unconditionally. Feed their bodies, minds and spirits. Build places of learning, places of spirit, places for healing and nourishment, places of community. Take that $40-billion and spend it in every neighbourhood in the world. Put the world to work growing food, healing people, restoring land and water, building communities, creating the thin fibres of connection between peoples, families, communities, cities, nations... "If we feed them they won�t want to eat us." Can you think of a better form of security? I think Anne has it right. We know what we have to do to create peace, safety and security on this planet: build relationships. Let�s do it now. Let�s do it with everyone. Black and white. Able-bodied and disabled. Rich and poor. American and Afghani. "Philia," which is a Greek word meaning the love between fellow man, is our path. Let�s make a decision to increase the philia on this planet. Let�s make it a better place for all to live in. The World is A-Changing On a recent airline flight, a flight attendant was reported to have given a very different safety lecture at the start of the flight. She said that we have gotten so busy and live our lives at such a fast pace that we forget to connect with one another anymore. Then she asked everyone to turn to the person on either side and introduce him or herself, to tell each other about their families and children, even show pictures. She said, "For today, we consider you family. We will treat you as such and ask that you do the same with us." Isn�t this a wonderful safety plan? (Ted Kuntz is the father of Josh, and serves on the Philia steering committee. For more information, visit www.philia.ca.) PHILIA: AN ANTIDOTE TO FEAR When I first heard the news on September 11, I felt a surge of hot anger, followed by a steely resolution to protect my sense of hope for the future. As the mother of two spectacular children, one of whom is disabled with cerebral palsy, I have experienced these feelings before. When events conspire to threaten the lives or well-being of my children, I am catapulted headlong into defensive action -- action to keep my child safe while battling aggressively with those who would seek to undermine my urgent belief in hope, love and trust in a positive outcome. Usually this dramatic human scenario plays itself out in a hospital and, to date, I have claimed many victories. I was surprised to find those same feelings arising under such different and terrible circumstances. For once, my battleground was nowhere in sight, the enemy invisible. Every day, the media inform us of some new horror. Evil and hatred threaten everywhere, and many are afraid. Our national institutions have been unable to allay these fears, because they have no weaponry to fight this psychological battle. But one can only begin to formulate answers and solutions when one has the questions to ask. The first question I asked myself was, "What can be learned from these tragic events?" I learned that we, as people, in our families, our communities, our institutions and even our charities, will have our fundamental way of life threatened unless we articulate our values. Those values must be urgently and assertively thrust forward on the national stage as an antidote to fear. The second question I asked myself was, "What actions can I take to free myself, my family and possibly even my community from fear?" Jacques Dufresne, in his eloquent articulation of values and positive actions on the Philia website, offers us some answers. We must proclaim our adherence to these values that are central to a caring society and give the lives of all our citizens dignity and meaning through our inspired actions. We must challenge our communities and our governments to speak proudly about these values, and to actively foster a climate wherein there is no room for hatred, fear, violence or exclusion. These are values that my children compel me to appreciate and to learn over and over again. These are values that turn despair into hope. Many celebrities have spoken in the news of how they look at their children differently since the events of September 11. I certainly look at my children differently; it is with a renewed sense of resolve to champion the Philia values and, through them, live in hope for a great future in Canada. I urge all of us -- the "unknown celebrities" -- to boldly share our stories. Our country needs them. -- Donna Thomson (Donna Thomson is a director of Lifetime Networks Ottawa and lives with her children, Nicholas and Natalie, and her husband, Jim Wright, who is the Assistant Deputy Minister responsible for global and security policy at the Canadian Department of Foreign Affairs.)
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