10 Tips for Coping with the Holidays

Christmas is almost here, and along with all the joy and good will there's often a lot of stressing out and over-indulgence - excessive food and alcohol consumption and consumerism. Suicide rates increase as do revisits to the psych ward. The holiday season should be a time of good cheer and joy and there are some simple strategies you can use to make sure that happens.

Being Jewish I grew up celebrating Chanukah, the festival of lights, which generally happens around the same time as Christmas. This year it begins at sundown December 11th. Celebrated over a period of eight days, each night an additional candle is lit on the menorah. Friends and family get together and traditionally money is exchanged, however a small gift to the young children on each night is an option. Pretty simple. The extravagance of Christmas always puzzled me. It's huge, it's everywhere. People of all religions participate in some kind of holiday festivities these days. You can't fight Christmas. You need to cope. You need to be aware of what stresses you and how to deal with it. I asked my friends and family what stresses them out this time of year and how they manage it. They had some fantastic ideas and insights.

Here are my top 10 tips for enjoying the holidays.

Be prepared. Nothing is more stressful then doing everything at the last minute. Plan out your daily schedule including the people who you're meeting, the parties you'll be attending, and shopping. Planning includes budgeting. Make a holiday budget and stick to it.

Prioritize and minimize. Take a close look at what you really need to do and eliminate things that are over the top or take up all your energy. Minimize gift giving to a small select list. If you have a big family you might draw names from a hat for exchanging gifts, or set an amount to be spent on gifts. Maybe only send cards to friends and relatives who are out of town or people you won't see over the holidays.

Abandon perfection. When's the last time you did something absolutely perfectly? Why should Christmas be any different? Accept that everything may not go according to plan. Remember that not everything needs to be perfect. People are happy just getting together over the holidays. Sometimes the perfect thing is the simplest thing.

Set boundaries. Choose to be with the people who mean the most to you. Stay clear of toxic people and family members. You should do things that you want to do and be with people you want to be with. Set boundaries and stick to them. Don't be afraid to say no.

Don't go overboard. Enjoy everything in moderation; food, alcohol and socializing. Just because it's the holidays is no reason to overindulge. Be reasonable. Why bake two pies when one is enough? Why cook a 20 pound turkey for 2 people. If you're throwing a party, make it pot luck.

Know your triggers. Not all holiday memories are pleasant. Emotional triggers like the anniversary of loved ones that have passed on, relationship disagreements, and the memory of holiday season psych ward revisits can be difficult to deal with. Avoid discussing topics with friends and family that you know will start arguments and cause stress. Overtiredness is a common cause of stress so make sure you get enough sleep.

Plan coping strategies. The best way to deal with stress at any time of year is relaxation and deep breathing. Listen to your favorite CD, watch your favorite movie, go for a walk on the beach, or take some quiet time. If you need to be in close contact with relatives or people that stress you out, protect yourself. Create affirmations like 'I am a confident, loving person'. Many people volunteer over the holidays.

Take time for yourself. Buy presents for yourself. A Christmas stocking filled with some of your favourite treats is an inexpensive way to give yourself a lift if you are alone and feeling down. Stocking stuffers like chocolates, oranges, and nuts are fun and easy as are cards to yourself with affirmations like 'I give myself the gift of confidence' or 'I give myself the gift of determination'. Don't forget to throw in a lottery ticket or two, or that new CD or book you've been wanting.

Beware of the post holiday crash. It's common to feel a little bit depressed after all the excitement and parties of the holidays is over. Take the time to be grateful for all the enjoyment you had over the holidays.

Keep your social network active. Go to movies, out for coffee, hang out. Have fun. Laughter is the best medicine, and it is infectious. If you're feeling down, watch comedies or cartoons. Rent your favorites. I recommend Dr. Seuss's 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas'. And don't forget, claustrophobia is not the fear of Santa Claus, and a popular Christmas wine is 'Do I have to eat my brussell sprouts?'.

Remember this is your holiday. Your enjoyment of the holidays is your decision. It's up to you. Taking responsibility, being prepared to deal with things that could happen makes for a happier healthier life.